


words i couldn't say to you

by orphan_account



Category: IU (Musician), Miss A, Suzy - Fandom, bae suji - Fandom
Genre: F/F, just let me have this, this is self indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:01:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21784888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: as always, there's girls being into girls and there's ice cream. my two favorite things, it seems
Relationships: Bae Suji | Suzy/Lee Jieun | IU, iu/suzy
Kudos: 12





	words i couldn't say to you

**Author's Note:**

> this isn't even finished......... someone pls add something to the iu tag, i'm dying

Saturday was laundry day at college. For those who left campus and went back home – lucky them! – they were fortunate enough to have their parents do their laundry for them. Parents tend to be extra caring when their child is away at college. 

Exam season can be chaotic, though, and that’s why Suzy and Jieun decided to stay back at campus instead of going back home. Jieun is fine with it, she’s the older daughter and this is not the first time she’s lived away from her parents. She can manage. Suzy, however...

Suzy is on a mission to have Jieun do her laundry for her.

“I love you” she manages to lock eyes with the older girl. _Don’t laugh_ , _don’t laugh_.

“What?” Jieun drops the pile of clothes she’d been picking up from all over their room.

Unsure where to look at, her eyes start roaming. The old looking wooden door – but that’d make it seem like she’s about ready to bolt. The floor – but that’s too awkward. They’re friends. They’re classmates. They live together. It’s not weird. Unless Suzy had found about Jieun’s big gay crush on her and then, yeah – it’s weird.

After some deep breaths, Jieun’s tiny figure finally regains some composure and manages to look at her roommate. But the taller girl doesn’t seem to notice Jieun’s very obviously blushed cheeks. And for that she should be thankful.

“Sorry, that was kinda cheesy. Please do my laundry for me,” Suzy whines.

And Jieun concedes. Mostly because she just really needs to get out of their room (though ultimately, she knew she couldn’t really say no to her roommate). She grabs her things and struggles a little before she manages to pick up Suzy’s things from the floor. It was already awkward enough for her, though, so she wasn’t about to show any weakness. She leaves the room and closes the door behind her.

Carrying her laundry basket was somewhat of a hard task, not that Jieun would ever admit it. Her basket is nearly as tall as her. As tall as – because Jieun is not short. She is of an average height. Truly, Suzy is just too tall. It is absolutely not fair that Jieun is done growing and it is not fair that standing next to Suzy makes her look so small. She’s older too.

Regardless, Jieun thinks perhaps Suzy is the perfect size. They can still share clothes (not shoes, Jieun’s feet are too small and Suzy’s feet are too big). When it’s raining, Suzy’s the perfect person to carry them both under an umbrella – Jieun sometimes wants to do it but the likelihood of hitting her roommate with the umbrella is... big. Almost certain. So she refrains.

But most of all, Suzy is the perfect size to hug Jieun. When they hug, Jieun feels shielded from everything. Her body is completely enveloped by the taller girl, her head fits perfectly on the crook of her neck and it’s Jieun’s favorite feeling.

She’s been avoiding it lately, afraid she won’t be able to let go. Or perhaps afraid that her roommate will find out and start seeing her differently. They hadn’t spoken about not being into girls but they spoken about being into girls either. There were boyfriends, too. Mostly one night stands, at parties (mostly meaning Suzy, Jieun’s not much of a partygirl), but they’d both had boyfriends back in high school.

The laundromat was crowded, as expected, but not too much that it made Jieun uncomfortable. Plus she always brought her headphones so she could space out and do what she’d come for without being disturbed by the outside world.

She separated the white clothes from the rest, mixing her clothes with Suzy’s, and finally put a quarter in the machine. A tiny light sparkled green and she knew she’d done well. Now all there was left to do was wait.

Things were starting to get particularly rough. There were only two ways out of this situation: she could either tell her roommate about her feelings or she could start trying to let it go. And she really wanted to be able to let go. But realistically, Suzy is her roommate and she is her friend. They walk to class together, they walk back from class together, they eat most of their meals together and they even brush their teeth together before they go to bed – their schedules sometimes vary so they can’t always do it in the morning and Jieun hates it; getting ready with Suzy in the morning makes her feel warm inside: the way she’s sometimes grumpy, the way she freaks out over what to wear or how to style her hair. Jieun thinks it’s adorable.

Her biggest concern is telling Suzy (or worst case scenario: not finding out directly from Jieun’s mouth) and having their relationship change. It’s not like Suzy could hate her for liking her (a girl), that was not her concern. Perhaps it’d be strange at first but it would not be an issue. But what if they can’t hang out together anymore? What if Suzy asks to move to a different room? Ultimately Jieun doesn’t really feel prepared to lose her friends, her roommate, her adorable companion. And if she had to push down these feelings then she would.

Except she doesn’t.

So first she gets a text from Suzy, asking her if she wants to go downtown and have ice cream later. And of course she says yes. Ice cream sounds good, spending time with Suzy sounds even better.

And after she expresses her feelings and the only way she knows how. She writes.

She doesn’t let it go too far or get too sappy, she just writes about how pretty she thinks Suzy is and how kind and how smart and how adorable it is when she pouts – not forgetting to add, “I don’t think you even notice it but your lips curl forward and your forehead wrinkles a little”. And yeah, perhaps she did let it get too far. She barely registers when the washing machine she’s sitting on dings. Hoping off of it, she tucked the sheet of paper into her pocket and started taking her wet laundry from the machine.

Later in the afternoon, she’s getting off the bus with Suzy and chatting about whatever exam is coming up and she’s back to her old self. This was enough, she was happy to be friends with her roommate – even if that’s all they would ever be.

Perhaps they hadn’t really thought things through – after all, it was a Saturday in the middle of the afternoon – but Jieun visibly tensed up when she saw a big crowd of people. It would be Christmas soon and many people went to see the Christmas lights during the weekend.

“Are you okay?” Suzy questioned knowingly.

Jieun was shy and big spaces filled a large crowd were just not her thing. Not to mention she felt incredibly small and actually suffocated in the middle of crowds. She could and did endure it, most times, but if there was an option to just turn around and avoid those situations, she wouldn’t even think twice.

Today was different, though. She really wanted that ice cream, she really wanted the opportunity to spend time with Suzy. So for the second time that day, she just took a deep breathe and told Suzy “It’s fine, I really wanna with ice cream with you.”

And Suzy seemed to share the sentiment. Grabbing the older girl’s hand, she started making her way through the crowd, mumbling a few “excuse me”s as she pushed past an unmoving man or a particularly slow elder. More than anything Jieun had been taken by surprise so she’d just let herself by guided, her body completely being pulled by her roommate. All things considered, she liked this large crowd.

From time to time, Suzy made sure to look back and check that they were still linking through their hands and that Jieun was still there. After a while, the street had cleared up and there weren’t as many people anymore that they still needed to be holding hands. Neither of them had made a move to let go. Back while they were pushing through the crowd, Jieun could swear she felt the younger girl’s thumb stroking her hand – probably to make sure she was calm.

The two were walking side by side, hand and hand, when Jieun felt a shiver. It wasn’t that late yet, perhaps a little after 4pm, but because it was Winter it was bound to get dark soon. No sunlight meant a very cold Jieun. Under different circumstances, the tall girl might have missed it. But right now, with their hands locked, Suzy had definitely felt the body next to her shiver.

“You’re cold,” she simply noted.

“A little bit,” Jieun admitted, bringing her free hand to her mouth and breathing on it so as to create some warmth.

As a reflection, Suzy moved their intertwined hands into Jieun’s right pocket. It wasn’t into the taller girl let go of her hand and pulled a tiny piece of paper from the pocket that Jieun really knew what had just happened.


End file.
